I never did reinvent myself, and here it is 2 and 1/2 years later. If anything, I lost parts of myself. I don't know who I am any more. Family and friends have passed away, leaving huge holes in my heart. The depression I was diagnosed with has wrecked havoc with my life. I have become a person that I no longer recognize.
MoonGoddess was a name I took on years ago when I joined a message board run by Chris Caffery of Trans-siberian Orchestra fame. I choose that name because Diana was the goddess of the moon...and I am Diane...and I needed a nickname. I was a different person back then. I loved everyone and tried to make friends of them all. I refused to take sides, and attempted to get everyone to do the same, and to try and find some good in everyone. I had a sense of humor. I did not hate. (There was a woman on the CCB who decided I was a fake and actually told me behind the scenes that she did not know why people liked me and that she would NEVER be my friend....and I did not even hate her!) The CCB had what was referred to as the BIffy's- awards for it's members. I won "nicest female" for the 3 years I was there. I guess my point is that I embodied traits that I began to associate with a kind and loving goddess.
So what went wrong? How did I end up such a bitter, unhappy person? I have even gone so far as to say "I hate people" and as my therapist Sally pointed out...that is really not me at all. I get that it's ok to change...it's normal to change....my life is not the same as it was back then. Both parents and my youngest brother are gone....that changes a person. Several CCB friends are gone.....all of whom I loved like family. That changes a person. And depression just plain old messes with your head. But I don't like myself much anymore.So today I start my journey to rediscover MoonGoddess. I need to find her before she completely disappears.
Rediscovering Moongoddess
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Monday, July 1, 2013
Reinventing Myself
"Now you can reinvent yourself". That's what my therapist Sally told me when I informed her that my hours have been cut at work. It's funny...I had been complaining to her that I have no time to myself working full time, taking care of a house, and being one of two caregivers for my mother. But when I was told my hours were cut at work due to some programs not making money, I panicked. Then Sally suggested I pursue the things that I have wanted to do but for which I never seem to have the time. The theory is that I will finally have time for myself, which should make me happier and less stressed, and in the process become the person that I want to be.
One of the things I have wanted to attempt was a blog/journal. At first I was going to blog about dieting and eating healthy....which I really need to do. But I believe that my eating habits and what's going on in my life and in my head are all meshed together. So here we are.
I encourage comments and sharing, but please be polite. As Plato said "Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
One of the things I have wanted to attempt was a blog/journal. At first I was going to blog about dieting and eating healthy....which I really need to do. But I believe that my eating habits and what's going on in my life and in my head are all meshed together. So here we are.
I encourage comments and sharing, but please be polite. As Plato said "Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
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